They always say the hardest part is letting go.

If you are anything like me you try to control the outcome

you make lists,

you worry

and you stress …. about everything..

I swear I have a list for my lists. An plan out my day into such detail, so there are no surprises and things go my way… but the planning is consuming.

the overthinking is exhausting

the indecisiveness is more harmful than helpful.

and my poor mind is tired.

A close friend recently said to me, there are two types of people in this world.

  1. Ones that have a doctors appointment, grab their keys and go

or

2.  The ones who plan for the doctors appointment months in advance, writing consent reminders and planning for it in great detail.

It’s a doctors appointment, just freaking go!

I realized I was number two

I had put my orders into the universe

I knew exactly what my goals were

but I kept “calling the waiter over ” every two minutes to check if they were ready, and even found myself at times taking over the kitchen.

I needed to let go

I needed to stop all the planning,

the worrying

and put away the lists !!!

So for One week I did.

Not one single list, and no schedule. Just went with the flow.

Through this week I recorded all of my thoughts, some of which are hilarious and crazy in retrospect. It’s funny in the moments how a single thought seems so critical we dwell and dwell, but looking back it seems so irrelevant it becomes laughable.

Here is what a week without worrying, a week of letting go and going with the flow looks like in the mind of an over planner.

Day 1

  • All I want to do is write a freaking list of what I need to do today
  • Started with Morning Meditation
  • Mantra of the Day “Let it be”
  • Did 2 yoga classes- restorative and empower
  • In love with the “Dreaming in Sanskrit” mantra playlist- so energizing
  • Striving for perfect is setting yourself up for failure, perfect doesn’t exist
  • There is no need to control anything, just go with the flow and let it be everything will happen as it is supposed to
  • Maybe just one list
  • No No lists
  • Don’t plan, just live- The waiter knows your order
  • Spend time around inspiring and uplifting people
  • Had lunch with yoga teacher- so empowering to be around people who you can share your dreams with and manifest together
  • Ask a question, let it go and the universe will deliver your answer.
  • Where is my answer Mr Universe…..
  • Keep it simple
  • Just make a decision and go with it, stop the indecisiveness
  • Right NOW, i fully let go of my past. ALL my patterns and EVERYTHING that no longer has a purpose of the greatest good in my life
  • These patterns have gone on my whole life, either i cut ties now or watch them reoccur forever…. I am cutting the freaking ties
  • Just do it for you, no one else, you do not owe anyone an explanation or justification for YOUR choices
  • relax, just chill
  • Stop trying to make your “future happen” and doing things to manifest… just live and actually let go
  • NOPE no list, not even a reminder one
  • END THE CYCLES NOW ! You can never ever move into the future with strings still in the past; everything ends today; self sabotage, bingeing, control, jealousy,worry, stress, lists, planning,victimizing
  • Go with the flow like water
  • Did a meditation today where I threw everything I no longer wanted over a waterfall, felt so good
  • In my meditation I saw little birds dancing around my head placing rings of flower necklaces around my neck…. was I watching snow white?
  • slowwww it down girl, there is nothing you HAVE to do, why rush
  • take your time
  • relax
  • who cares what time it is
  • who cares if you are late
  • you are crippling yourself with a need for perfection
  • June will be a game changing month – i will be the happiest, healthiest and most balanced I have ever been
  • Turn off the technology, disconnect
  • Leave the phone at home
  • delete email from phone and check once per day
  • there is nothing so important you NEED your phone on you, check 2 times a day
  • I believe that the right web page developer, publishing and talent agent and man will be brought into my life.. I now let it go
  • do you not think everyday? then you sure as hell can blog everyday.. every one thing
  • loving inscense
  • mmmm peppermint oil, lemon oil
  • MANTRASSSS
  • learn one thing from everyone
  • you do not have to do EVERYTHING that everyone suggests or tells yo u
  • sometimes I just want my vision, my future and my dreams to manifest so badly that i do everything possible to make it happen, every weird chant, oil pulling,crystal rubbing, reiki session I can get my hands on… but this is me just trying to control it again.
  • trust your gut, if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it
  • stay true to you no matter what
  • this is my journey no one elses
  • ouu feeling so feminine and sensual
  • candless
  • for so long i had no idea who I was, which is why I cling to everyone’s suggestions and ideas trying to find me…. but now I know.
  • loving my red grounding stone
  • Find the balance and moderation
  • YOU CAN BECOME AN EXPERT in one month…

WOW

my head hurts…

That is not even everything..

This is why I need to let go, is anyone else exhausted ?

 

 

Day 2

  • sometimes I feel so darn lonely, is there a man for me?
  • I feel so much lighter
  • Actually went with the flow, threw out the plan, even ditched my responsibilities to go for mid day Caesars
  • Phone off all day, and left at home
  • Sometimes I just get so angry…. how can parents, aunts, family just abandon and not want their child… what did I do to deserve this
  • What is wrong with me that my family doesn’t want me, is it the same thing that is leaving me single
  • NO your past doesn’t define you… it gave you a story but that is it. Thank it for giving you the gifts and lessons to use to inspire little girls that need you
  • anxious……where is my to do list
  • waiting Mr Universe
  • Last night I was told I was too much, this brought out a lot of self doubt.. it makes me relive the days I was a weird little outcast on the outside looking in. It scares me, why am I so different than others, why can’t I be satisfied with the simple life
  • No great ever had small dreams
  • It is not too much, when you are doing what you are meant to do everything just happens with ease
  • went to meditation- make me realize I am me, I freaking love me… I am perfect just the way I am. I will be loved and I am loved for the person I am when I am true to who I am
  • Mountain temple oil … love, love, love.. so grounding
  • On break at yoga went for a walk along the water- brought me so much peace
  • loving the smell of the ink from my pen
  • took ginger for a walk, gratitude walk, listed all the things I love and that I am grateful for both in my life today and in my desires
  • Kayla is amazing !! like how thoughtful to recommend my book to someone. I just can not express my gratitude.. brought me to tears
  • hellooooo sunshine I love you
  • need to do errands……. how without a list… mini freak out
  • nope don’t plan, shut it off
  • picturing nature, water and mountains in my meditations.
  • what is it about water I love so much
  • feeling grounded
  • are my dreams to big? should I just settle?
  • I see possibilities everywhere
  • ok I am official ready to date, I need to get out there, even if it’s not with Mr Perfect, just try
  • You don’t have to be perfect you just have to be you
  • I picture my life in 6 months, Dancing around the house with my man, he lives in a beautifully constructed new build, it is modern and sleek. It has a dark interior and beautiful staircase, a big open kitchen and fireplace. I have an office set up there and a beautiful meditation space.

Ok a little less, today was more imaginative and less stress… it is funny reflecting how my thoughts change so fast from anxious to calm.

Day 3

  • Peaceful breakfast, drinking tea, chilling and reading
  • opps i was late
  • Amazing day with Summer and the girls, children bring so much joy
  • I have been meditating twice a day for a month now… it really helps
  • feels amazing to share my dreams with others and talk about them out loud, makes them seem possible
  • I am actually really happy, I love and accept the person I am
  • I dream big and that is ok, someone has to
  • It feels so good to just let go, to not think so much, there is no rush
  • Put your order into Mr Universe, he will deliver
  • craving my meditations
  • One day I will write a book about the mindful mom; pregnancy and mom life. It will be another best seller
  • The less I have my phone the less anxious I am
  • I need to go to Paris, even for a weekend I don’t know why I am so drawn to it
  • Having crazy flashbacks to suppressed memories
  • Kept thinking I was going to see my ex today…… and did with his wife and two kids, killing me inside that was the life I could have had if I had been in a better place of balance in my mind
  • If I need to remember it, it will come back to me
  • Say it 5 times, if you don’t remember it you aren’t meant to
  • You have spent years trying to find yourself, Now own it
  • Time to stop the self sabotage, every time things go well or I start to succeed I subconsciously destroy it. I guess I think it is better to let myself down than have someone else let me down
  • Learn to fail and be ok with it
  • I think I should buy another property
  • I dream of being spoiled and treated with so much love, care, respect and devotion from a Man. Someone who uplifts me, stands beside me and helps me follow my dreams… our dreams
  • Quality over quantity
  • It’s ok to love luxury and nice things
  • Monkey see Monkey do, you can not preach to people. be you and be true, if it is inspiring they will follow and learn, they will want to replicate it. Those that need it will find you
  • Law of attraction in full swing today, when you let go of control, things manifest and fast
  • want to make a list….. of things to buy
  • if you can’t make a decision let it go for 24 hours, the answer will be clear

Looking back I can see the changes in my mindset and the slower pace of thoughts

Day 4

  • Open windows, let the sun in, take in the fresh air, listen to the birds chirp
  • trust my gut today
  • mediated- active mind today in meditation
  • Send me an agent MR Universe
  • Why am I so obsessed with french?
  • I need to visit Greece
  • Who is best for my website
  • Should I buy an investment property
  • let it go and the answers will come
  • all it takes is one yes among a million nos to change your life
  • watching the kindness diaries
  • peppermint oil
  • I do not know where I am going, and that is ok
  • Talked to real estate agent, made appointment at bank, I am buying a second property.
  • Please lead me to the right property at the right price, so I can rent to the right tenant. This is the start of my dreams come true, building my real estate empire
  • one day at a time girl
  • going crazy trying not to plan
  • One answer I need this week- send me an agent
  • Sunday is the day of change
  • I will leave this company by March 31, and a new flow of cash will be in my life
  • Billy?
  • I would love to model for dynamite or be a lululemon ambassador
  • Seth’s Mom from the OC is who I picture myself as when i see my real estate career
  • real estate is my calling
  • I need to speak and travel to motivate others
  • anger and stress fading away
  • I am letting go of the past
  • so many new things coming my way
  • I will get that yes

More positive and manifestation is evident

Day 5

  • Today I am In the best freaking mood
  • starting HIIT workouts this morning
  • feels so good to get the blood pumping
  • sun shining, birds chirping, it is so warm out
  • I don’t even crave my phone when I am in my element doing what I love… writing
  • used orange and lemon oil today for an energy kick
  • mmmmm satsuma body butter
  • took a drive down the backroads today to a remote coffee shop, spent my day studying there
  • hard to focus on studying when it is so nice out
  • put it out there and watch the universe deliver your wildest dreams
  • when you stop being jealous of others you realize they may actually be what you need in your life and a partnership is possible.
  • september 4th?
  • By September 24th I will have a ring
  • 10 houses in 2 years
  • this 4 hour work week is happening
  • I have the most amazing agent, we are making big things happen and taking the world by storm. I am standing alongside my idols, I am their equal. Marie Folio, Gabrielle Bernstein, Me
  • I see stevia&spice, it’s white beautiful cover sitting on the shelves at chapters, the cover displaying the NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER logo, people are raving about it changing their lives. I am getting emails from young girls who say I personally inspired them and changed their lives. I vow to mentor one young girl a year who needs me
  • I am happy and at ease
  • Say hello to your marketing guru
  • loving myself completely today
  • ouu you are beautiful girlie
  • trusting and believing
  • Partnership is the key to success
  • I am doing big things, I am born to change the world
  • I am the ripple
  • We live in a time of exciting ENDLESS possibilities
  • feeling light, free and so comfortable in my own skin
  • i love meeeeee
  • I see beauty in everything
  • I love the reflection in the mirror
  • I have a sparkle in my eyes
  • feeling JOY
  • timing is everything… that was in my mailbox…
  • ease, it feels good

DOES anyone else see the change, I can get used to this letting go thing

Day 6

  • I have a date on sunday?
  • this week I let go and I can actually see things starting to flow
  • nothing is irreversible
  • looking at houses sunday !
  • my heart is racing and I feel alive for the first time in years
  • approved for my mortgage !
  • Found some amazing new web designers- upwork !! use it
  • site launch for march
  • business is taking off !
  • booking speaking events
  • where is my agent
  • show me the moneyyyy
  • things are going so well, I just need a steady cash flow, my muse, so that I can leave this employer, it is the last tie to my past
  • My book is the key
  • I need someone to take a risk on me
  • I picture myself is a beautiful white range rover, living in a house on the lake with three beautiful children; two boys and a girl. I wake up every morning with a smile, get dressed in beautiful clothes and make breakfast for my happy family. I have the most amazing husband who I adore and who adores me, we have a good life together
  • I will never settle for less than I deserve
  • Things are changing baby
  • These past two days have been a perfect depiction of how I want to be spending everyday… waking up, working out and yoga, getting ready, writing in coffee shops, going to lunches, shopping, laughing, making plans, looking at properties, planning trips . living
  • Put my foot down, say no
  • Am i getting fired?
  • own my truth
  • Nope not getting fired, but they know my heart isn’t in it… maybe they will pay me out
  • I am not sure why but my trouble hour is 3-4 pm. Usually on Thursdays or Sundays. I get weird and bored, this is often when I binge and purge. need to occupy my time… drink water or tea, I feel so much guilt when I pick or snack
  • have been mindfully eating, plating my meal, sitting down in quiet and enjoying it.
  • oils helped calm me down so much
  • I am scared, I am scared of loosing my job, but I have been sabotaging myself to put me in this position because I am scared to leave, send me an answer

Had some weird ups and downs today, but my awareness is there and I am learning to overcome these moments and relax

 

Day 7

  • My life is my design
  • Did a HIIT workout again, like the stress release
  • ahhh I planned! does it count writing down my goals for the next 6 months?
  • I need a big deal to come in quick at work so I can meet my target and chill; focusing my energy on my business and real estate exam
  • why am I always so worried that I have enough time? there is always enough time just chill
  • today I was totally exhausted, and wasn’t as mindful eating. As soon as i pick or snack I feel instant remorse and guilt, these are usually the triggers that lead to binge
  • I have an amazing agent. I wake up every morning and we talk, we create, we dream, we get the juices flowing. I am traveling the world talking and inspiring young girls and woman, to follow their dreams and not let their past define their future. I am on a book tour doing speeches and signings of my book, meeting people who’s lives I have touched. I am consulting businesses on changes they can make to help make work a happier more mindful place. And when I am in town, my husband and I are building our real estate empire. I love selling houses, it is such a passion and brings me so much joy. I am doing everything I ever desired. I am seeing the work, experiencing culture, dancing laughing and feeling overjoyed with peace. Life is good !! Life is easy, This is me, this is my life and I will always dream big. I have amazing houses, nice clothes and a nice car. I have a beautiful family. I am my own boss, and make money while I sleep. I will never be tied to a schedule or corporation . I am changing the world, and helping people live a happier, healthier more balanced life. Stevia& Spice is starting a sugar free revolution.
  • I am the creator

well there it is, the inside scoop of the mind of an overthinker, and the changes that can happen in one week. I mean I went from asking the universe if I should buy a property and to send me a man then looking at houses, being approved for a mortgage and going on a date in 7 days……I can not believe the change in my mindset in a single week. I feel like I have had so many eye opening moment and put so many wheels into action without even realizing it ! I am starting to live in the moment and stopped looking for those big changes. Stopped trying to force change, and let things flow. What is meant to be will always happen. I think I will start to journal about my creations as an experiment to see what actually manifests.. Should we do this little test and see what the law of attraction can bring?

JUST LET GO, IT WILL FLOW 

let-go