The past few weeks were a mental roller coaster,

with travel, launches, sicknesses and dreary weather. It all took it’s toll on me and I found myself in a rut.

A rut I knew was temporary, but non the less consuming at the time.

I felt overwhelmed by the pressures to be perfect, to have everything and be everything right now.

It has always just been me, if I fail there is no one there to catch me.

No parents to call for support or advice

No “person” to bounce ideas off of

It has been me and all me

and honestly that is freaking terrifying.

I mean I have amazing friends who I can expose my soul to, who I can talk to and share my deepest secrets.

But when push comes to shove would these people be able to bail me out if I fall flat on my face and fail? No probably not nor would I expect them too

But i finally have accepted that having yourself is the greatest gift there is.

It may not always be easy, but it helps to build you into the strongest, smartest girl around ( ego pump )

I am learning so much everyday, and use that to propel me and help me to evolve.

I am never the same person I was the day prior. I know more, I grow more and I evolve.

I am changing everyday, but it is a positive change.

I make mistakes and learn my lessons

more than anything I learn the value of self care.

It is so critical to well being and sanity really.

Something as simple as a bubble bath and painting my nails can instantly change my day

Or some upbeat tunes and a kitchen dance party to put a smile on my face.

These are the small things in life that make all the difference.

These are the things that help you to overcome those obstacles, those trials and those ruts.

To move a head in life and own the girl ( or guy) you are

I realized I was in a funk.

and the only funks I allow are the uptowwn kind ( bruno you ma boiii)

I said enough was enough. And make a change.

But it starts with owning it, no excuses,

understand the place you are at, the feelings that you are having and accept them. Then make a change.

complaining,

victimizing

or self pity … keep you standing still

we want to move.

I want my dreams so badly, and I often feel the fear of failure creep in.

when it does, and I truly take a step back to just let it go and go with the flow.

that is the golden moments of life.

when everything you have been pushing for finally come to be and the golden gates open

it takes letting go

to get go of stress pressure and resistance.

Life is energy, everything is energy.

when we put up resistance we are blocking that energy, even when we think we are pushing in the right direction. That need to control actually creates a reverse effect.

So if you want the energy to flow, let it freaking go

because as soon as I did, my life did a 360. And I am truly happy, at peace and content with how everything is unfolding. I am trusting this crazy process called life, and learning to just have fun with it. Life should be fun.

I have no idea where my journey is going. But I have a vision, and each day I take a step toward that vision. Each day I move, and each day I smile.

I do not know what tomorrow brings and right now I am ok with that. Because today, today things are good and today I am happy .

&& Side note: Today is also the day I lost my job.. a job I wanted to leave so badly yet didn’t have the balls to do.. thank you universe for pushing me. Sometimes our greatest blessings are our failures, you just have to trust and believe